Treatise on the Spin Cycle
In learned circles the argument continues regarding the most valuable invention of the 20th Century. My husband believes it to be the air conditioner. I strongly disagree and as he doesn’t have to do the laundry, wash dishes, shop for groceries or put them away once home. How could he possibly know the real answer is the washing machine?
Anyone remember Harvest Gold?
Imagining the prospect of beating dirty socks on a rock in the middle of a running river, knee deep in the “goosh” at the bottom, a swimming thing feasting on your flesh, all the while trying to get soy sauce from the Hawaiian shirt means simply, I win.
These first hand observations come from one currently in the middle of kitchen remodel whilst living on the premises. My experience gives me the authority to pursue this worthy line of questioning. The constant joy of the remodel and the lightening of my bank account in a most disconcerting manner has led me on the quest for the most valued apparatus. We are calling this an adventure! Major appliance stores are not abundant on the Big Island and everything must be shipped from the Mainland. Add a month to the date originally marked as DONE.
We have friends that dine out at least twice a day. Seriously, I don’t know how they continue to wear the same pants/dress size. Everyone who has ever been on a diet, and I know that is everyone reading this blog, knows eating at restaurants is an expensive salt-filled treat that should be left to birthday and anniversary celebratory moments. I don’t like to eat out as much as I like to cook. Our friends have an incredible kitchen as well. I simply do not understand!
No kitchen vs. No Desire to dine out two meals a day. This has been the dilemma. I usually eat three meals a day, so the remodel would be twice as much planned. Probably three times as much as planned as the finished product will be twice as much as the original bid! Hope you followed that line of reasoning.
Chinet might be a top contender for inventions to the help the remodeling housewife, disposable dishware. Environmentally sound, Chinet proudly “preserves what is precious” with their products as advertised on their website. Not sure exactly what is precious to Chinet, the sanity of the individual not able to wash dishes in a proper sink or the dwindling forests. Check one for a great a remodel helper, no dishes to wash and land fill appropriate. For those of you that have washed dishes in the shower, your vote could be for the disposable wonder as 20th century’s best.
Wine glasses. One must have a proper wine glass. Have you ever done the taste test with Riedel stemware? It is a great marketing tool for their products and I have seen their pitch at farmer’s markets and wine tasting demos. Whether it is the power of the mind or the glass, a great red in a paper cup doesn’t taste the same as in a large bowl crystal glass that pings with clarity during the demo. I currently drink mediocre reds as you remember I am remodeling the kitchen or having a face lift in Switzerland. They cost the same and I can no longer afford a great red. After the kitchen I will not be able to afford Switzerland much less a face lift in Tijuana.
Now picture Blondtypewriter washing stem ware in the shower. No further comment.
I do want you to rest in the knowledge vodka can be consumed in any manner of receptacle and still taste just fine!
Have pen AND can do laundry!
If they don’t stop banging and sawing at 8 am, I shall commence with the tequila shots at lunch.
Now about sink disposal systems.
These are at the bottom of the list of must haves as my history with egg shells and potato skins is somewhat sordid. On the hill here in Hawaii we have cesspools and Lord knows after the remodel I don’t’ want to spend another $10,000 for a septic tank, so even though I now have a disposal, nothing will enter it’s awaiting grinding maw on my watch.
Cooking, which I adore, was fun and challenging in the beginning of the demolition. Forty-five days into the process, it has become a chore. Back in the day, in my 20’s, I believed if you read the recipe, all would be just as the photo in the book. I have too many stories of entire dinners not looking like the book and actually ending up in the depths of the grinder/disposal and pizza being ordered. There are no pizza delivery services in the witness protection program area we currently reside, and I have learned even though the recipe says 350 degrees for 30 minutes, this might not translate on a gas bar b que. Just ask the broccoli, cheese and chicken casserole. Désastre!
So an oven holds a special ranking in the list of important inventions.
Circa 1970?
No, I am not kidding!
Yet, as I sit in the Volcano Laundry Mat, I am still convinced it is the washing machine. The commercial washers and dryers are faster than what I will soon have delivered, yet one has to plan for a morning of work away from the computer, when anticipating clean clothes. Timing is vital. If you get there too late, someone has beaten you to the machines and you have to wait 30 minutes, with 5 Hefty trash bags of whites and bright colors fermenting in the Hawaiian heat. Whilst you wait you must make sure you have enough quarters to do the deed. I never realized how many quarters are necessary to do a proper wash. Let me cue you in so you can go to the bank before you anticipate the Mat. Forget changing a few one dollar bills, you must get two twenty’s in quarter rolls for today’s prices! Armed with my quarter rolls and hawking over the last moments of the previous owners machine, I am prepared for battle. In go the loads, pods and bleach if appropriate. Now let’s take a moment for a word about pods. This is the greatest invention of the 21st century. No more muss, no more spilled suds just a tiny bubble of cleanliness thrown into the machine and bingo…done!
Once the wash is secured behind locked machine doors, I could leave for 30 minutes. I choose to bring my beach chair, take out my old fashioned spiral notebook and begin the treatise. There is comfort in writing the old fashioned way without a computer, pen in hand and an empty notebook.
I think the computer might be up for some kind of prize but my vote is still with the washing machine.